The Guinness Book of World Records has confirmed a new claimant for the the title of the world's smallest man.
He is from Japan, measures in at just 19" ........................................................ and is called Nee Hi.
Jokes
Re: Jokes
Teacher asks a pupil, "What's your name, boy?"
Boy answers, "D-D-D-Da-Da-Da-Dav-Dav-David".
The teacher asks, "Do you have a bad stutter, boy?"
The boy replies, "I don't, but my Father does. And the Registrar who filled out my Birth Certificate was a dick".
Boy answers, "D-D-D-Da-Da-Da-Dav-Dav-David".
The teacher asks, "Do you have a bad stutter, boy?"
The boy replies, "I don't, but my Father does. And the Registrar who filled out my Birth Certificate was a dick".
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MadAxeMurderer
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Re: Jokes
A private investigator is contacted with a job offer, and asked to come to the penthouse suite of a skyscraper.
During the long elevator ride up, he can't help but wonder what the job is, and whether it's worth taking. When he finally arrives in the suite, he finds a well-dressed gentleman sitting at a desk, who explains: "There's this guy, see, and he never blinks. I want you to investigate him, find out who he is."
The detective, offended, replies "You brought me all the way here for some guy who doesn't blink? I'm not accepting the job, I'm leaving!"
The gentleman presses a button beneath his desk, smirks and says, "Ah, you can't leave. I've locked down the elevator, so you're not getting out unless you agree to investigate."
Defeated, the detective agrees: "Well, the elevator's locked down. I guess I have no choice but to take the stare case.”
During the long elevator ride up, he can't help but wonder what the job is, and whether it's worth taking. When he finally arrives in the suite, he finds a well-dressed gentleman sitting at a desk, who explains: "There's this guy, see, and he never blinks. I want you to investigate him, find out who he is."
The detective, offended, replies "You brought me all the way here for some guy who doesn't blink? I'm not accepting the job, I'm leaving!"
The gentleman presses a button beneath his desk, smirks and says, "Ah, you can't leave. I've locked down the elevator, so you're not getting out unless you agree to investigate."
Defeated, the detective agrees: "Well, the elevator's locked down. I guess I have no choice but to take the stare case.”
Re: Jokes
That took just a bit too long...MadAxeMurderer wrote: ↑Wed Mar 27, 2024 9:41 am A private investigator is contacted with a job offer, and asked to come to the penthouse suite of a skyscraper.
During the long elevator ride up, he can't help but wonder what the job is, and whether it's worth taking. When he finally arrives in the suite, he finds a well-dressed gentleman sitting at a desk, who explains: "There's this guy, see, and he never blinks. I want you to investigate him, find out who he is."
The detective, offended, replies "You brought me all the way here for some guy who doesn't blink? I'm not accepting the job, I'm leaving!"
The gentleman presses a button beneath his desk, smirks and says, "Ah, you can't leave. I've locked down the elevator, so you're not getting out unless you agree to investigate."
Defeated, the detective agrees: "Well, the elevator's locked down. I guess I have no choice but to take the stare case.”
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MadAxeMurderer
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Re: Jokes
Unfortunately you need someone decent in Hebrew* to explain but it's a very clever joke. google translate doesn't help.
A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.
He is to kneel in front of the King and recite a sentence in Latin when His Majesty taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
A British Jew is to be knighted by the King.
He is to kneel in front of the King and recite a sentence in Latin when His Majesty taps him on the shoulders with his sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover seder:
"Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh mikol haleilot."
Puzzled, His Majesty turns to his advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"
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JanxSpirit
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Re: Jokes
So in America the Supreme Court is stopping women aborting fetuses - they don't feel, they haven't got hearts, they're brainless... yet somehow the Supreme Court is in charge...
