hTTi

Sorry for the long post, but I'm seeking advice.

The other day we got a call from the kita saying our 3 year old daughter had fallen down, hit her head and thrown up.
We picked her up and the staff gave us no more info; we rushed to the hospital and she was examined, at first glance everything was fine. The hospital asked for details, and whether she fell or was pushed (to know how hard she hit her head) - we said we were given no info besides that she fell. Naturally, the hospital said that in a few days they would contact the kita to catch up with the version we told.

Since we are in a delicate situation logistically (I am at home recovering from c-section and taking care of the newborn sister) the hospital cleared her, relying on us to make 2-hour checks for 24 hours (after that, the risk of some brain damage is rare). Fortunately everything was fine.
When we arrived home my daughter told us she was pushed by the kid X, this is why she fell and hit her head. She normally doesn't make up stories, so we believed her. Therefore, we asked the main erzieher if she fell by herself or was pushed. He wrote back saying "unfortunately I didn't see".
Fast forward, he says he saw the kid X behind her and saw her falling but wasn't looking to know if she was pushed. We also got to know from the staff that kid X has some social issues, and that it is indeed possible he pushed her.

Problem 1: There was a clear miscommunication where we were not told *before* going to the hospital that 1) no one had actually seen what caused her to fall 2) there was the possibility she was pushed since kid X was behind. this info would have been important, especially if things had went sideways in the hospital

The next day she didn't go to the kita cause we wanted to keep a close eye on her. In the absence notice I wrote I would be grateful if Y (the director of the kita) would call us to have more info on what happened. We didn't hear back. The day after she went to the kita and the erzieher told us that Y was in a meeting; everyone's mood was a bit strange, like they realized this was serious. This erzieher wrote us to says our daughter was doing fine that day, but again we heard nothing from Y. When we picked her up, the person that communicates best in english told us that Y was no longer there and would be on holidays, no idea for how long, and that Z, another erzieher would replace her in the meantime. They were clearly uncomfortable about the fact Y had left. She said they were having a meeting that evening to touch base on the situation (without Y).

Next day we met with Z and the english-communicating erzieher. They understand the problem (problem 1) and are discussing solutions, but without Y nothing much can be implemented. they said the absence of Y was spontaneous; without stating it directly, it was clear Y's absence was related to this issue, probanly decided after my message saying i would like more info, and that they were again uncomfortable about it.

Problem 2: of course I understand Y is entitled to spontaneous leave, but as the responsible person it is awful to leave the kita and the parents in the void in such serious situation without saying anything at all.

We are more angry about problem 2 actually, but we are afraid that, if we report it, that Y will have no consequences at all and maybe the main erzieher who saw the fall could be fired, or that Z who is currently responsible could also be fired. Worst case scenario, we are afraid that there are no consequences and therefore, because we reported, the mood towards our daughter will be different from here on.

Please help me understand: is there a reason, legally, for Y to leave the kita for a time-period? Meaning, do we have a time-window to report this kind of thing and she is therefore not signing any report, i.e., not responsible?

Thank you for your thoughts

What exactly are you trying to achieve here?

Sorry, you obviouisly want people fired. But that is not what I mean.

I don't want anyone fired but don't want to let it pass as if nothing happened, especially for Y.

As I said, I want to understand why Y left in such situation. Is she protecting herself legally in some way? that's the purpose of my post, to understand why.

Glad to hear that kiddo is fine now - it must be such a relief for you!

Seems to me that nobody actually knows what happened, and to be fair, even people being payed to take care of a child cannot watch them 100% of the time.

Maybe, for clarity, you could ask the carer who was looking after the group at the time to have a chat with the lad who is known to be a bit boisterous, and ask him what happen when kiddo fell over.... it could just be that kiddo tripped over her own two feet, y´know?

As for the person in charge now being on extended leave, well, I rather get the impression that this "event" has stirred-up something amongst the staff there, and brought it to a head - whether that be lack of enough qualified staff, or an incapable leader, who knows? Okay, so she didn´t tell you that your child "might" have been pushed, but I can´t help wondering if this might be to do with the language barrier, and less with not wanting to inform you.

At the end of the day, these things happen. Kiddo is fine, and the Kiga seems to be re-assembling, presumably in order to prevent something like this happening again...

As previously said, is there anything particular that you wanted by posting here, or was it just to let off steam?
If you are worried for the safety of your child, you can always send her to another Kiga!

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Thread is unlocked.

I doubt that somebody will get fired. They can not see everything that happens. Maybe the employee should have asked other kids if they saw what happened but maybe they didn't realize that it might be important. Now they do. Most important is that your kid is ok.

Hello again,

Thank you so much for your feedback - indeed, the most important is that my kid is ok.

I'm sorry if my first post was a bit convoluted. By writing here, I wanted to get a feeling if this situation was to be considered normal (first the lack of clear communication with us - not the lack of surveillance which, of course, can happen - and second, the disappearance of the director in such circumstances, avoiding the communication with us). I honestly thought that I was perhaps not fully grasping what was happening, and if there was something to be done, that I should act fast. It had nothing to do with firing, but rather to find responsibility.

Since I last wrote not much has happened, as the kita's director is still away. Indeed, as it was suggested in this thread, it makes more sense to me now that the disagreement between the director and the staff, together with some kind of fear to communicate in English, could have been the reason for this scenario.
Thanks again for your input!

Hi InesPT, thanks for getting back to us to clarify the situation!
If you were looking for clarity in the muddy waters of Germanism, I very much doubt we helped you at all , but if things now seems to have calmed down and you now feel better about the situation, then that´s good for both you and Kiddo!