Obligation to Report

[AlexTr]

TL;DR: A friend with diminished mental capacity is being scammed into thinking she is chatting online with various celebs. My wife wants to escort her to "meet" one of them at the Frankfurt Airport Sheraton. I want to call the cops or our friend's husband.

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I have an odd siutation. I will try to be concise.

In 2023, a friend of ours had a ruptured aneurysm. She had open two brain surgeries, and then broke her hip in rehab. She spent more than a year bouncing between hospitals an rehabs. She finally came home at the beginning of 2025. She has had to relearn everything, including walking.

Now, she is able to drive herself places (although I think she shouldn't); however, she spends the bulk of her time at home. She is being scammed online by various bad actors posing as David Dramain, one of the guys from Metallica, and Teddy Swims. She has given some of them money in the form of gift cards. She confessed all of this to us last week.

This week, she has told us that she plans to meet the Dramain poseur at the Frankfurt Airport Sheraton. We couldn't talk her out of it, so my wife said she would accompany her. Another friend lives in Darmstadt and will also be there.

I think they are all crazy, and we should call the cops. She made my wife promise not to call her husband, but I didn't promise her anything. My wife has sternly told me I am not to call her husband or the police.

What are my legal obligations for reporting what I think is a danger to a vulnerable person?

Please don't beat me up too much. I want to run right to her husband, but I am also trying to stay married.

[Fraufruit]

That's a tough one. It would be good if you could go talk to the police and maybe they send someone to the "meeting". No idea if they would or not. You wouldn't have to tell anyone what you did.

On the other hand, she should be safe in a public place with 2 sidekicks along. Maybe your wife could record the whole thing just in case.

[AlexTr]

I actually found an online resource where I could chat with a government employee. Basically, until a crime has been committed, there is nothing I can do. It's terrible. In the US, most jurisdictions have obligation to report laws when it comes to vulnerable populations.

But recording is a great idea. My wife needs a bodycam! Off to Amazon!

[Fraufruit]

When is the meeting? Please keep us posted.

[alma.freya]

The husband really should be told his wife is the victim of online scammers. Is there a romantic aspect to the scam? There is certainly a financial aspect which I assume concerns him unless they have separate finances.

Did your wife provide any reason against telling the husband? Is she worried about betraying her friends confidence?

edit: I'm veering away from the original question so I understand if you don't want to answer the above questions. It's just such an interesting scenario.

[Bayrisch_Dude]

But recording is a great idea. My wife needs a bodycam! Off to Amazon!

sorry to ruin the idea... but recording is illegal. Section 201 of the StGB.

https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/engl ... html#p1939

[snowingagain]

Recording being illegal depends on a lot of things. Really. Record away guys.

[AlexTr]

When is the meeting? Please keep us posted.

It was supposed to be last week Saturday. Naturally, he canceled. Then, he used deepfake software to do a video chat. However, he overplayed his hand by asking our friend for money right now. She got worried about that because we had told her how much the real guy is worth (approx. $8 mil). She SAYS she blocked him. We'll never know.

ETA: I apologize for being MIA all last week; I had a big project. I don't normally leave folks hanging.

[AlexTr]

The husband really should be told his wife is the victim of online scammers. Is there a romantic aspect to the scam? There is certainly a financial aspect which I assume concerns him unless they have separate finances.

Did your wife provide any reason against telling the husband? Is she worried about betraying her friends confidence?

edit: I'm veering away from the original question so I understand if you don't want to answer the above questions. It's just such an interesting scenario.

Yes, yes! I would do it today, but my wife would chuck me in the river. The balance for me is honoring my wife or looking out for this woman. We took the middle road and tried to protect her. If it comes up again, it's going to straight to her hubs. I can sleep in the guest room.

In the meantime, my wife is experiencing stress-related symptoms: headaches, neck pain, sleeplessness. I can't have that.